The Cockpunch: Hot Time, Summer In The City Edition

Yep. It’s a thousand degrees outside. Okay, I overstate; it’s only like 750 degrees outside. Sorry I went overboard there, it’s just that I CAN’T FUCKING THINK BECAUSE I CAN’T MOVE BECAUSE EVERY PART OF ME IS STICKING TO EVERY OTHER PART OF ME, AND I’M MISERABLE.

I usually love Denver summers. When I was a kid, it would get hot, sure, usually no higher than 95 or so, with a few days over 100. And then, on most afternoons, we’d get a little rain to cool things off right before sunset. It was wonderful.

This is not that. I really, honestly and truly do not understand how anyone can feed you that “global warming is a myth” nonsense and do so with a straight face. These people are lying to you. You have my permission to slap one of them in the face. After doing so, grab them by the collar, and scream into their face, “STOP IT. STOP TELLING LIES, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.” Then just walk away.

Fun for the whole family. The Links:

Know how I wrote last week that the Supremes were likely to give us their answer on RobomneyCare? Yeah, didn’t happen. Now the rumor is that it’ll take place today, and that the Obamas are worried, and the Republicans are licking their chops. While it’s unlikely the entire thing will be overturned, there’s a good chance that the individual mandate will be stripped from it, essentially taking the teeth away. Folks, we already have an individual mandate. When an uninsured person doesn’t get checked before they’re extremely ill and ends up in the hospital emergency room, who do you think pays that bill? The insured. Forcing everyone to get health insurance — from the private sector, from a company in competition with other companies — removes this, will have us spending less on health care and improving our final results. Ezra Klein has a good rundown of facts about the ACA.

Oh, the horror.

“But LIBERTEE and FREEDUMB!”, right? You want to leave people free NOT to pursue insurance at the expense of everyone else… and then whine about poor people being a drain on society and the individual? If you’re one of these people, you are a ruhtard. Not joking. You’ve lost your right to talk for reasons of wonton stupidity.

Darrell Issa (R-Corporate Welfare) wanted so badly to play gotcha politics with the White House over the poorly planned and managed Operation Fast & Furious. Unsurprisingly, noted dickbag crybaby John Boehner (R-Coppertone) also thought the trouble went all the way to the top, and came complete with a high level cover-up. Sadly for both of them, Issa has come out and said there’s no evidence of a cover-up, or that the White House was involved. Someone give that man a hug.

Meanwhile, Tixis Governor Rick Perry didn’t get the news, and once more made a fool out of himself in front of a national audience. I’ll pause for that shock to wear off.

You may have heard about the dead heat for the third and final spot on the US Women’s Olympic 100 meters. Well, the USOC has sent out a somewhat convoluted 18 paragraph document outlining how the entire mess will be settled: either a coin flip or a heads up race between the two.

The Bunk and I spent a significant portion of the weekend watching and discussing Futbol, specifically Euro 2012, and watched a really terrific match yesterday between Italy and England. Too bad this guy didn’t live to see it.

Kevin Youkilis is likely to be traded from the sinking Red Sox to the rising White Sox as soon as today. When teams fail, they typically sell off their talent at fire sale prices, which means the Colorado Rockies should all be available for about $5 later this week. Awesome. UPDATE: Youk was traded to the White Sox, official yesterday, and got quite the ovation after his final at bat in a Boston uniform. The lesson: I’m an idiot. Thanks to the lovely EBurr for the tip.

Enjoy Monday as best you can, y’all.


  1. Youk was traded. Official yesterday. Boston has lost another hero. Yep, you can tell we’re all sad. See here for all the details:

  2. Alan McCoy says:

    The problem of course is that the people who don’t believe that the globe is warming, or the more subtle view that yeah the globe is warming but humans don’t have anything to do with it, don’t need anything as mundane as science to back up their belief. After all who needs facts when you have Geezus.


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