The Morning Wood: 50 Shades of Grey Edition

All the rage in the housewife circles I frequent for the past several months is the ladyporny 50 Shades of Grey, a poorly-written, BDSM-for-beginners book that took middle aged women by storm and had them buying their husbands all manner of silk ties and scarves for use in the bedroom. And while the book has managed to do quite well with the middle-aged lady set, most men simply laughed it off. A fad, nothing more.

It’s proven to be something more than that, although the backlash has begun in earnest, even with the women it claims as its primary demographic. I spoke with a couple of friends last night who, in addition to realizing it’s poorly written tripe, have no interest in continuing with the “book” past its opening pages. “It’s awful,” one friend told me. “I don’t even want it on my nightstand.”

Unfortunately, at least in the UK, Ladyporn is now leading to at least one case of domestic violence. With brown sauce. Ew. I’ll bet it was the Daddy Sauce.

On to the links:

Politics!
In an uncomfortable reminder for the GOP just how unlikeable Mittens Romney is and has become, not to mention how out of touch he is with the middle class, the Mexican Space Lizard now not only refuses to release more than two years of tax information, he doesn’t even know where his money is being managed, or what’s being done with it. I mean… he can stare longingly at as many people as he wants; we’re still not buying that this empty suit has anything going on up stairs. Additionally, in 2008, he sent 28 years of returns to the McCain team when they were vetting him as a possible VP pick, but won’t do the same now. Odd. And let’s all remember that after releasing all that info, McCain chose Sarah fucking Palin instead of Mittens. So. Yeah.

Poor white folks are among those least represented when it comes to health insurance, which is why health care lobbying firm Strategic Health Care is throwing a white trash party to celebrate with other DeeCee insiders and make fun of poor white folks. Smart decision!

Internets!
Lindy West’s latest is all about a Newsweek article on the internets and how terrible they are for us and how they’re ruining everything and OH MY GOD HOW ARE WE GOING TO SURVIVE AND HAVE REAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE IF WE’RE ON REDTUBE ALL THE TIME? You might guess that the editors of this fine newsmagazine agree with Ms. West on the issue, particularly because the Intertubes have afforded us all sorts of luxuries, none larger than the public repository for our brilliant writing dick jokes.

Sport!
The Home Run Derby was in Kansas City last night at Kauffman Stadium, home of the Royals. I didn’t even realize the Royals were still a thing, but apparently they are. Anyway, it was nothing particularly new; Prince Fielder’s fat ass won the whole damn thing, Chris Berman is still a repetitive ass, and Kansas City is still a shithole. Second verse, same as the first.

You know where else is awful? Jacksonville. But at least Jags DE Austan Lane is willing to have some fun with his fellow athletes.

Filth Flarn Filth!
One of our favorites, Drew Magary of Deadspin, GQ, and founder of Kissing Suzy Kolber, is applying to be on Chopped. This is a welcome development, and if there’s anything we can do to make this a reality, we would like to offer our humble support and not one, not two, but all three of our readers’ support for the cause.

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