The Morning Wood: Be Who You Are

I had a massive takedown scheduled for today, but thanks to a late night with one Vincent Casablancas and a rare Colorado Rockies win (things are going to start happening now, kids!), I’m afraid all that information was lost to the gods of sleep and beer.

They’re my two favorite gods.

So the takedown will have to be shared another morning, because anything worth doing is worth doing right. So go easy. And look for something really special on Monday.

Paul Krugman has a pretty good write up today in the Times, and even though Paul Krugman is a bloviating retard much of the time, he’s a correct bloviating retard almost always. Savvy column today too, as unemployment rose to 8.3% but 160k new jobs were created.

Someone remind me what the Republicans have done to create a job. Thought so.

Speaking of economics, Mitt Romney has committed one of the classic blunders. Only slightly less well known than peeing with a woody or starting a land war in Afghanistan, Mittens is trying to convince everyone of the virtues of more tax cuts for the rich while wishing to balance the budget on the backs of the middle class. Thing of it is, this is not the climate for that, and only those who vote against their own interests (which, if we’re being fair, is only slightly less than half the population) will sign off on that. People keep saying this election is going to be close, and they’re right. Until the debates start. President Obama is going to wipe the floor with “Don’t Ask Me Any Questions, You People” Romney. It might be ugly. Anyway, New York Magazine has the dirt.

Remember when the Facebook IPO happened and everyone was all like “Hey Sam, are you going to buy the Facebook and then sell it in a year for 10 times what you bought it for, thereby making you an internet millionaire like you’ve always wanted to be and then take me sailing on your yacht to fucking Portugal (down South America way) LIKE A BAWSS?” And I was all, “No.” Remember that? Yeah, well, I’m smarter than a lot of people. I didn’t think that was true, but it totes is. Totes magotes.

The defining photo of the Olympics has been taken, and it’s of Gabby Douglas. Awesome.

Peyton Manning’s new Bronco jersey is leading the league in sales. The Broncos are holding a scrimmage tomorrow at Sports Authority Field, and they’re expecting in the neighborhood of 20,000 people to attend. 20,000 people for a scrimmage. Your correspondent will be among the unwashed masses, as will the aforementioned Vincent Casablancas.

Speaking of the Broncos, the greatest Bronco of all time has had his name sullied by Scott Kacsmar. Get him, Internet! If the name in that story was “Tim Tebow” instead of Elway, you could count on the pious morons to come to his defense in a massive and disturbing way. But since it’s not Tebow they’re talking about, all you’ll get is a collective sigh.

Site News!
Vincent will be along shortly with some words and thoughts. Make sure you check back in while watching your life slowly tick away towards retirement at the age of 85. Take heart: Soon it will be the weekend and you can trade seeing your boss’s shovel face in your cubicle for having your boss’s shovel face haunt your dreams.

Enjoy Friday, wage slaves.

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