It’s been a while. I know baby, I know I letcha down. But I’ma slide on up close to you gurrrl… I’ma slide on up… and make sweet love to your eyeballs.
Where to begin, my lovely reader-lumps? My sincerest apologies for my extended absence, but I had “Serious And Important Shit To Do.” What shit? Well, mostly, growing some fucking cancer.
Now before I kick this off, east Dallas style, let me begin by saying I’M FINE. Fine like that Amber Rose chick.
Nah, I’m just fine fine fine. I’ve got Thyroid cancer, had it for ages, got diagnosed in 2009, went through all the shenanigans then, and have been merrily bitching along until I moved to Colorado and had to get all new doctors (and all new scans to establish my fine-ness). Well, unfortunately, the tests did not establish my fine-ness to the degree I’d hoped.
So I have cancer again. It’s all in the lymph nodes this time, and the solution is to cut it out and that’s that. This is not REAL cancer. This was caught really early (and totally accidentally), so it’s ANNOYING cancer. Two things before I get to the point:
- This is not CANCER cancer. It’s not balls, colon, lung, liver, brain, skin, pancreatic, ovarian, vajayjay, or boobies. THOSE are real cancers, and if my “I have the cancer” announcement makes you feel sort of sympathetic, please go donate some money to cancer research (but not that Susan G. Komen shit) so that people with REAL cancer might have a shot.
- I’ve got like… 4 doctors (and not your funny Colorado doctors wink wink) just DYING to prescribe me anything I could possibly need, so while I’m recovering, I might look like I’ve been attacked by ninjas, but the world around me is gonna look like fucking STUDIO 54.
The ACA. IT’S THE LAW, BITCHES. And I couldn’t be happier. Well, I’d be happier if it was a universal expansion of Medicare, single-payer style, but I’m still happy with this. It does a LOT of good stuff. Since I’ve got the cancer, the ACA is some big shit to me. It means one day, if I decide to have a kid, I can maybe stay home for a year and give my kid the best start I can. Pre-ACA, this was not an option. Nobody will ever sell me insurance on the open market. I’ll never be able to risk losing my job, and a layoff could mean medical bankruptcy or death. Maybe I could start my own business one day! Or retire early and start a free love commune. WHATEVER, I have the option now.
But! Mandates!! Yes. Mandates. Suck it up, kid, you pay into lots of mandated stuff right now that you’re totally ok with (because you’re used to it). In 30 years, it’ll be some old white lady in a Whole Foods parking lot, holding up a sign that says “Hands off my Obamacare!” But first, everyone needs to stop being a bunch of nasty, selfish, RAYCESS mofos (YEAH. I SAID IT.)
The ACA is going to save a lot of minority lives. I’m especially looking forward to more healthy black women. See, black women die of cervical cancer TWICE as often as white women. Black women are more likely than ANY other race group to die of breast cancer, despite white women being more likely to GET it. WTF y’all?!
While white women are more likely to get, and die from, ovarian cancer, look at the spread. A black woman who gets ovarian cancer has a disproportionately high mortality risk, compared to all the other races in this graph.
Why is this happening? Well, it’s a mix of poverty and taboo. Black women’s sexuality is shameful, and since a woman of any race is objectified by the sexual nature of her body, black women’s bodies are, therefore, extra shameful. We are dying of shame in America, and never over the things we SHOULD be ashamed of. I believe that, with the ACA’s push on preventative medicine, these women don’t have to die anymore.
None of us have to be ashamed to death anymore.