Morning Wood: The Long Game

Everyone watched Barack HUSSEIN O’Bummer’s speech last night, right?

“He hates America so much, doesn’t he? Like, he just wants a… he’s looking for a… global… /wordsoup

Sure, there were a few overstatements. There always are in political speeches, particularly at conventions (except when Paul Ryan is speaking; he just cuts out the middle man and lies directly to all of our faces because BOOTSTRAPS and MUSLIMS), when accomplishments are shone from behind with a bright light to make them look enormous. Ol’ Barry’s speech was good. Not Michelle Obama good, and not Bill Clinton good, but good. He’s a smart man, and on the whole he has good ideas for the country.

But my favorite part of Barry HUSSEIN’s speechifyin’ is his steadfast refusal to sell us plans that create bubbles rather than create a solid economy. Our infrastructure is crumbling around us. Our public transportation is a fucking joke. He said it in 2008, and he said it again last night: this isn’t an easy process, getting a giant economy on track again. Given the mess he was left with — ZOMG U CANT BLAME BUSH 4 DIS TAYK SUM RESPONSBILLSDLJTY! — he’s done a fairly masterful job of getting the economy moving.

He’s in this for the long game. By fixing our infrastructure, we quite literally make America stronger. By fixing our broken healthcare system, he quite literally made America healthier. Has he been perfect? Not remotely; his continued prosecution of non-violent drug offenders, specifically with marijuana, has been misguided, and drone strikes rubbed a lot of people the wrong way.

But all in all, Barry Bamz is doing a good job. He doesn’t listen to the noise, he just fixes shit. I like that.

On with the links, peasants:
Word Vomit!
Sarah Palin is BACK, you guys. She is BACK, and she is angry at the shadows and bogeymen she chases around her padded cell at night, mostly for being elite and something something not caring about the normal Americans like her and something something FREEDOM MUSLIMS BOOTSTRAPS SNOW MACHINE TRIPP.

The lesson here is simple: Sarah Palin is AWESOME, you guys.

Politickle Fight!
Vaguely handsome suit hanger with hair John Kerry spoke last night, and absolutely SLAYED. His entire speech was the “beating up a homeless guy” of this convention, and it focused almost entirely on foreign policy. He destroyed Mittens of Romney for managing to offend one of our oldest allies at the Olympics, then took him to task for the “hide and hope he dies of old age” stance on Osama bin Laden that Bush held and Romney shared, punctuating the statement with “Why don’t you go ask if Osama bin Laden is better off than he was four years ago.” POW.

Just imagine: If he’d shown that kind of willingness to pound the truth at someone instead of being the most boring candidate of the last 10 generations, he might have won in 2004. SMH.

Handsome Joe Biden also spoke. Biden is like the lovable family bulldog. He barks a lot, makes you laugh sometimes, but you know he’s going to piss on the Christmas tree and fart under the dinner table. I want to be just like him.

The Intersection of Religion and Politics!
With a tip of the hat to the lovely Nichole Freeman, I give you 7 Things Christians Need to Remember About Politics.

Have a good Friday, wage slaves.

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