Reince Priebus is the Tip of My Morning Wood

Reince Priebus, the weaselly little shit currently chairing the Republican National Committee, is a dick. Or has a dick for a nose. Or a dick for a tongue.

Either way, he’s fucking garbage.

This morning, we all woke to the news that a US Ambassador had been killed in action in Libya, when Muslim protesters scaled the walls of the American consulate in Benghazi. J. Christopher Stevens, the United States Ambassador to Libya, was one of three Americans killed in an attack precipitated by a movie that ridiculed Islam’s Prophet Muhammad. The movie was made, rather unsurprisingly, by Christians (who feel it is their duty to mock other faiths in order to make theirs look decent) and propagated by (who else?) a Christian pastor. If you guessed it was the same guy who called on everyone to burn the Qu’ran, you’d be right on the money!

This is, of course, bad news. It’s sad that someone lost his life for the actions of another, and it’s even worse that two others were also taken down.

The worst part? The worst part is making it into a political statement, and claiming something outrageous. Something like, “the President sides with attackers in Egypt. Sad and pathetic.” But no human would make SUCH a partisan statement, right? No human would say something like that before the dead bodies have even gone cold… right?

Wrong, Sam. Wrong.

@Reince: Obama sympathizes with attackers in Egypt. Sad and pathetic.

He really sent that! He really did!

No respect for the dead. None. No respect for the office he holds, or the office for which his candidate is running. Zero.

Resolved: Reince Priebus is a piece of shit.

But it gets better. So so so so so SO much better.

Mitt Romney’s campaign lifted the rhetoric embargo just before midnight (they’d been holding an offensive statement until 9/11 had passed, but then must have figured “fuck it; let’s make asses of ourselves right now”) in order to release the following statement, called “misleading” by any owner of a working cerebral cortex:

“I’m outraged by the attacks on American diplomatic missions in Libya and Egypt and by the death of an American consulate worker in Benghazi,” Romney said in the statement. “It’s disgraceful that the Obama Administration’s first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions, but to sympathize with those who waged the attacks.”

Actually, sir, the disgrace is twofold. That you would make such a misleading statement (the “response” from the Obama administration came earlier in the day, before the attack that led to three dead Americans) is embarrassing enough, but that you’d release such a partisan, absurd statement on the one day — seriously, the ONE day! — that we’re all allowed to be Americans, that we actually bleed from the same heart and have a singular enemy, that you would make that statement before those bodies were cold, makes you an absolute disgrace.

This sort of thing used to be known as treason.

Sherriff Joe Arpaio is continuing his search for the birf certificate, you guys. Everyone can rest easy.

Remember that awesome story of the small business owner in Florida getting absolutely drubbed for welcoming President Barack HUSSEIN Obama into his restaurant? You DO? Remember how we talked about the campaign on internet review site Yelp to try and tear down the small business owner, for FREEDUMB? Good work! Here are the highlights from those attacks.

The best Broncos blog on the interwebz turned 2 yesterday. has easily the finest collection of non-accessed writers and has some of the best game and play breakdowns I’ve ever read. They also have a morning link dump with news from all over the NFL, and it’s the best I’ve seen of its kind. Read it.

That’s all I have the heart for this morning. The Bunk will be along near the lunch hour to share some witticisms with you. Until then, friends, remember the overarching lesson from today: Reince Priebus is a raging cockmonster. Good day to you, now.


  1. PriebusEatsRomneysSantorum says:

    Reince Priebus is a sad, pathetic little fuck with his tongue stuck so far up Mitt’s craven ass he tastes what the guy had for lunch. He should be publicly disemvoweled:

    Reince Priebus = RNC PR BS

    There, fixed that for ya.

  2. How desperate are they? The GOP… they can take that crap back to Chicago!
    (Actually, I’ve never been… I hear that mid-westerners are friendly tho.)

  3. Fairly excellent publish. I found your current site along with desired to state that We’ve truly loved shopping your web site discussions. After all We will be subscribing to ones supply we we imagine you publish yet again in the near future!


  1. [...] how I told you that Reince Priebus is a haughty dipshit? Well, that has not ended. Rinsed Penis is at it again, claiming that Mitt’s last week was [...]

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