The Morning Wood Can Walk Away At Any Time

And when I woke this morning, it was as if nothing had changed at all.

There are still going to be replacement refs on the field. There are still owners justifying that. And — astonishingly — there are still fans of the NFL who are justifying Ginger Hammer Roger Goodell and the owners continuing to lock out the real referees.

To call this a surprise would be an understatement, but there are morons everywhere.

The things I keep hearing from multiple sources is that these refs are doing the best job they can; we shouldn’t be so hard on them; they didn’t ask to be put in this situation; they’re in over their head and shouldn’t be out there in the first place. And I get that. It’s sort of the point of the whole fucking thing.

Yes, the league put them in an unwinnable situation by offering them little training and letting them be the sacrificial lambs while they try to destroy the American worker through bullshit changes to the referee retirement system. Yes, I feel bad for them taking the brunt of what’s going on from fans and media alike.

And yet, it seems to me they could leave (or “retire”) at any time and go back to the fry pit at WackArnolds. They could go back to the Lingerie Football League (oh, wait… no they couldn’t.) They could end all of this — every bit of abuse and all the mean people and bloggers like me and my ilk who just reFUSE to give up on the idea of fairly officiated games — by saying “no mas” and heading back to Idaho or Iowa or wherever the fuck they grow stupid people. What a bunch of pricks we are, demanding that the three hour escape we love called football actually be, you know, on the level.

We are such assholes.

Apparently seeing the writing on the wall (and on the internets), Roger and the union met for the fourth consecutive day yesterday, and… made no new progress. Sigh. Dallas Cowboys owner Jerruh Jones doesn’t see the big deal, but Drew Magary does.

At least it made Steve Young speechless. Momentarily.

What I feel people are overlooking is the fact that, even if this dispute gets figured out by the end of the week, and we have real refs the following week, the damage to Goodell’s reputation and legacy as commissioner is tainted beyond repair. This is really bad. We’ve had some of the worst calls in the history of the game… and we’re in week three of the regular season. That’s something nobody will ever forget and forgive.

The Links:
Apparently hockey is still a thing that people do. I had no idea, but when I went to order my iPhone 5 yesterday, the guy behind the counter would not stop talking about his hockey team. He was every bit what I imagine most hockey hooligans to be: loud, dumb, and really excited about the worst sport on the planet. ANYway, apparently the “National Hockey League” — again, still a thing — has locked out its players, as it did a few years back, which only killed off the casual fan (me) and removed hockey from the high profile sporting landscape (to Outdoor Life Network, then Versus, then NBC Sports Network). Thing is, nobody cares, because everyone’s pissed about the refs being locked out in a good sport.

High Lord Hairgel Sir Mittens of Romneyshire probably isn’t a bad guy. He just doesn’t have any perspective, thinks that $250,000 a year is a “middle income family,” and seems to be falling apart. Let’s laugh at him.


  1. Hat tip for you: Mittens is at it again.

    Silly unions! Political contributions are for corporations!

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