Week 8 Warpath: No Love for Roethlisberger

HARF HARF BEN LIKE TOUCH LADIES WIF MAH GREY PENIS

In a few hours the sons of Washington will hop on Interstate 270, then to I-70, where they’ll travel the lovely fall countryside and then merge onto on I-76 for a  brief journey to their final destination.

Are they just taking a weird circuit around the northern suburbs of Denver, you ask?

Ahahaha, no.

Because the ‘Merican road-numbering system is schizophrenic, this is instead how you get from Warshington, DeeCee to scenic Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Make sense? Of course it don’t. Dime-bonics!

Back to football: I don’t know dick about the 3-3 Pittsburgh Steelers, because they’re not in the NFC East. I am somewhat confident, howevah, that they will be dreading the sight of Robert, the Third Earl of Griffindor.

Arise Sir Robert
If you’re not down with RGIII, you had better go someplace quiet to think honestly and critically about your life choices. The 22 year old with TEXAS SPEED™ has in just seven games become arguably the single most electrifying pro football player since Bo Jackson. Seriously, can you imagine what RGIII’s character in Tecmo Super Bowl would be like? Smh.

RGIII is on track to be the first black president (Remember, Obama is an Arab), and everyone’s talking about him, including:

Chris Cooley is The Man
I was pretty bummed when Fred Davis snapped his achilles, but the silver lining is that them Skeinz quickly re-signed a player that should never have been let go in the first place. Chris Cooley is a Redskins legend, staying loyal to an organization that never gave him a shot at fulfilling his elite potential in his nine years with the team.

The Skins don’t deserve it, but ole #47 passed up several offers with other teams because he didn’t want to play anywhere else. Now his patience has been rewarded; Cooley will present a dependable option for RGThreesus on pass plays and a short-yardage menace from the fullback position.

Here’s video of Cooley’s entertaining interview with the NFL Network. He knows how to say all the right things and still be interesting, which is a rare combination.

Skins-Stillers Preview
I went to Pittsburgh once to check out the Andy Warhol museum just down the street from Heinz Field. Pretty cool, you guys. I checked out a Pirates game at PNC Park (which is next to the football stadium), and it’s probably my favorite MLB park behind Camden Yards.

I really liked the look of Heinz Field as well. From the outside it looks like a spartan, enormous 4-sided European soccer stadium.

Here’s the Westfalenstadion in scenic Dortmund, Germany before it was upgraded to the fully enclosed 80,000 seat monstrosity it is today:

and here’s Heinz Field:

The field is below street level, so from the outside the 4-sided shoebox effect is a good deal more pronounced.

I won’t even pretend to be qualified to prognosticate what might happen in this game, other than I generally fear for RGIII’s health and especially when playing against the noted villain James Harrison. Also, I don’t want to think about what Ben Rapeyburger might do to our secondary if he has time to dance around outside the pocket (he will.)

Make mine Redskins 63 – Stillers 60 in a Baylor-West Virginia barn burner without any pretense of defense.

Happy Friday and, above all things, Hail to the Redskins.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 364 other followers

%d bloggers like this: