Morning Wood: Uncomfortable Questions

Throwing invisible money into the air, then wavin’ round cause he just ain’t care.

We’ve discussed multi-billionaire (and likely sex weirdo) Sheldon Adelson before in this here digest of dick jokes and tomfoolery, and we’ve even openly questioned just why folks thought the rich could possibly be spending all that political money to benefit those of us who are not multi-billionaires. These are questions that need to be asked, and since they won’t be asked by the Librul Media Machine, that responsibility falls to us. Again.

You’re welcome, America.

But now, the candidate who has been bought and paid for by Mr. Adelson — a Mexican Space Lizard from the planet Kolob named W. Mittens Romney — is displaying the signs that his foreign policy apparently now consists of pissing off our allies (his visit to London last week was well-chronicled by The Bunk) and engaging in saber-rattling with our possible future oil industry enemies. It’s like an episode of the new Dallas come to life. SPOILER: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is John Ross, and Ali Khamenei is JR Ewing’s eyebrows.

The only thing worse than what he said in London is what he said in Jerusalem. Seriously, I say this to The Bunk every single day, but HOW IN THE FUCK CAN ANYONE ACTUALLY JUSTIFY VOTING FOR THIS ASSHOLE? HOW??? Christ on a cracker, it just doesn’t make any goddamn sense.

I realize that his path to election looks weak and fraught with danger. I realize that he’s got very little chance of getting elected running on the famous, “well I’m not the black guy, is why” campaign promise. But I’m still absolutely terrified of this man.

Although, it should be noted, that once elected he would probably go back on every promise he made during the campaign. Thass jus’ how he roll, yo. Mittens ain’t care.

To the Linkmobile! [Read more...]

The Morning Wood: 50 Shades of Grey Edition

All the rage in the housewife circles I frequent for the past several months is the ladyporny 50 Shades of Grey, a poorly-written, BDSM-for-beginners book that took middle aged women by storm and had them buying their husbands all manner of silk ties and scarves for use in the bedroom. And while the book has managed to do quite well with the middle-aged lady set, most men simply laughed it off. A fad, nothing more.

It’s proven to be something more than that, although the backlash has begun in earnest, even with the women it claims as its primary demographic. I spoke with a couple of friends last night who, in addition to realizing it’s poorly written tripe, have no interest in continuing with the “book” past its opening pages. “It’s awful,” one friend told me. “I don’t even want it on my nightstand.”

Unfortunately, at least in the UK, Ladyporn is now leading to at least one case of domestic violence. With brown sauce. Ew. I’ll bet it was the Daddy Sauce.

On to the links: [Read more...]


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