The Morning Wood: Rise


“Why do we fall?”

Took in a viewing of The Dark Knight Rises yesterday with fellow dick joke enthusiast The Bunk, this after spending some time on Friday night watching Batman Begins and Saturday with The Dark Knight. And I’m not going to claim some grand and profound revelation based on the movies (though it was impossible not to think of the shootings) or say that I see the world more clearly now; there weren’t any, and I certainly don’t.

But I am sure that, in a summer where Colorado dominated the news for all the worst reasons, the people of my state will stand up again. We always do. This senseless murder was done by the worst of us, and what the intention was isn’t of particular importance. What is important is that we continue to come together as a community and help. Bonfils Blood Center was overwhelmed by people trying to make donations, and had to turn people away with nothing more than an appointment for later. Last night, a candlelight vigil was held across the street from the theater.

People coming together to heal people. America. Colorado.

“So we can learn how to get back up.” [Read more...]

The Morning Wood and Myths of Obamacare

Holy shit, that is RAYCESS.

Death panels! Armed IRS agents! On-demand abortion!

That’s right, folks. The new tax from Kenyan Prime Minister Barack Hussein Obama (more like NOBAMA, you feel me tea party?!??!??!!1ONE!!1) is going to bring all of these horrid chickens home to roost and probably a lot more, since the bill was longer than 4 pages and therefore something that a guy like Herman Cain couldn’t possibly read. When Cain is elected president, every bill will fit on the bottom of a Godfather’s Pizza box. For FREEDUMB.

This is why we must fight — continuously on the news, and especially in the chambers of Congress — to REPEAL the law and REPLACE it with something that we haven’t come up with yet.

All of the above brought to you by the GeeOhPee, bringers of hate and fear to the masses since a long fucking time ago. What could the Dems even THINK of countering with? [Read more...]

Oh Michele, We Hardly Knew Ye

In a cruel blow to comedy writers throughout the Anglophonic world, Michele Bachmann, the congresswoman from Minnesota, suspended her campaign for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination yesterday morning after a poor showing at the first-in-the-nation Iowa caucuses. Ms. Bachmann finished last of the six candidates contesting the caucuses and failed to win even a plurality of votes in any of Iowa’s 99 counties despite having a closer personal connection to the state than any of her opponents.

[Read more...]

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